The Web That Is My Own

My son was diagnosed with reading and writing disorders this year and it is taking a while for me to figure out what this means.

It took a long time to meet with the psychologist who made the diagnoses and that has helped me understand a great deal. My son's thought processes, intelligence and capabilities are quite normal, he learns and understands the material he is taught in school but he can't write a normal test. He can do anything he wants, become whatever he wants to become - he will only need extra help with the communication aspects of traditional schooling. With the current and expected future of technology, this is not the same challenge it used to be, software can read to you, record what you say and write for you. I will need to help him more than average with reading and writing throughout his education - I am okay with this.

I realize how much I take reading and my independence for granted. Labels, signs, packaging, recipes, mail, forms, newspapers, magazines, maps, games like Trivial Pursuit. I feel mournful that my son is likely to struggle with these things. I know he has a strong support system, including myself, that will help him but I feel mournful of the independence he is losing.

My son is still young. He is only just beginning to feel frustration when a peer reads a sign or label that he cannot. We are lucky to have these diagnoses early. Hopefully we can support him adequately so that he never feels he is at a disadvantage.

What I am most mournful of is that my son's life will be harder than mine ever was.

I am learning a lot about how to help my son. Luckily school was easy for me and I do enjoy re-living many wonderful memories as my children learn. I am happy to be a very involved parent. I will intimately know everything my son learns because I will help him read for research projects and write his thoughts and write the amazing stories in his head that he draws pictures for and stages for performances. I am ready to take on these challenges as a parent.

But I still feel I need to take some time to acknowledge the sadness I feel that my son has these challenges to face, that I will not be able to take his place, I cannot make it go away. He will likely struggle with things that I take for granted his entire life.