• Welcome

    This is our corner of the Internet. We're happy here. We're definitely "we" -- this blog is a group project. We all post as "My Own". This is where we write the things we can't say on our own blogs for one reason or another. We hope you like it here as much as we do. We hope you'll stick around.


  • I was watching a program about 9/11 and the memorials built to remember it and the speaker described it as being history that is still a part of current events, today - in 2013, and I was wondering, when does that shift from current to historic happen?

    The first significant event I remember understanding (there were others before it that I could not understand as well) was when the Berlin Wall fell. I was in ninth grade and studying communism, we received the news mid-day (this was before the internet so I'm not sure how the news made it to us, I suspect by someone's office radio) and all other subjects were set aside for the day, we talked only of this and what it would mean for the people experiencing it, I went home and the discussion continued.

    At some point the event lost centre stage and we spoke of it and thought of it less and less.

    I remember 9/11 as a similar experience for me, I did not know anyone personally, I saw and heard so much about it on the news and discussed it at length with people I know. For me 9/11 quickly passed into the category of an historic event.

    My children were born after 9/11, for them it is historic, it will be something to read in a text book one day just as the fall of the Berlin Wall will be.

    In the last several years of my own life there have been many significant personal events - funerals, divorce. Though "historic" does not seem to be the right word, the effects on my life were significant and the strong feelings lingered much longer than a globally historic event.

    Does how strongly we feel about an event define its status as a "current" event?

    For the survivors of any trauma, for every significant event we experience, that event continues to influence our current feelings for a very long time, in some cases, our entire lives. Yet still we refer to them as past or historical. We do our best to live in the present, to have hope for the future.

    I wonder if treating 9/11 a historic event as current, prolongs the strong feelings of loss? Vengeance? The fear of terrorism?
    My closest friend currently is also my only single friend. 

    Now it appears she's found someone to date. It upsets me that we aren't the single gals anymore. 

    So instead of feeling happy for her, I now feel sad and ashamed for being jealous. 
    That's unfair. Maybe it's not the amorphous regulatory body that is making me cry, but rather the person who misled my organization into thinking we had certification from the amorphous regulatory body to operate...

    When, in reality, we didn't...

    And which caused said amorphous regulatory body to send us a 'cease and desist' order...

    Which means the new exciting journey I began 4 months ago is for naught...

    And I never should have left my job and life and successful theatre hobby behind...

    So tomorrow I go back to work to work my ass off for another day, in a job that now doesn't mean anything, and hope that these tears will dry themselves up by now. 

    I just can't believe that someone didn't dot all the I's and cross all the T's. You would think that's something that would have been covered. That someone, somewhere along the way people would have ensured the fucking paperwork was done. 

    Everyone has regrets - it's the nature of things, I suppose, that most people don't make it to middle-age without having a few of them. But truly, there's only one thing in my life that I deeply regret, that I wish I could change And that's the fact that I simply don't like the vast majority of my family.
    It took me a long time to admit this truth to myself. I wanted them to be wonderful, to be the kind of family that I could come home to. I wanted them to be loving, educated, straight-forward and kind. And the fact of the matter is that they're none of those things. Many of them are mean-spirited, stupid, manipulative and completely lacking in self-examination. There's not a lot to recommend them, quite frankly, and the better I've gotten to know them, the worse they've become in my eyes.
    There are exceptions, of course, like in any large family. There are a few people to whom I'm related that I genuinely like and would want in my life even if we weren't family. But most of them are just awful, including every member of my birth family. And that makes me sad.
    In chat with a friend:

    I had the best sleep of all time last night [spent the night with a guy].
    I can't remember the last time I went to sleep with a guy's arm around me.
    And woke up and it was still there

    God the single life is fun but lonely sometimes.
    You whine saying that your time on facebook makes you feel inferior to other mothers. 


    Just quit being lazy and get your shit done.

    I am a facebook junkie and still get all my shit done!  And my kids are not neglected either.  They don't need to be entertained all the time by me!

    Copyright © 2010 The Web That Is My Own

    Wordpress Theme By : Retro Design Studio