• Welcome

    This is our corner of the Internet. We're happy here. We're definitely "we" -- this blog is a group project. We all post as "My Own". This is where we write the things we can't say on our own blogs for one reason or another. We hope you like it here as much as we do. We hope you'll stick around.

    Buton

  • The spam was getting hard to keep up with, so I have made a minor change to the settings.

    Posts appear here after you send them to an e-mail address that includes a string of numbers. I have made a change to that number: the last digit is now "1" instead of "0". Everything else remains the same. 

    I am hoping this will fix the problem. A spammer is auto-generating posts, most likely because the e-mail address is in someone's address book, but it's also possible that there is a problem with this Blogger account and if that's the case I'm not sure how to reclaim it.

    This is the first post using the new string of numbers. Crossing my fingers...

    Admin
    I want to have another baby. It is a crazy desire. I feel so strong and confident right now, I want to feel that with a baby. Farewell to the hesitant, unsure, lost mother I once was. Oh the bliss of cuddling a baby!

    Then I remember the lack of sleep, and how close I am to having independent people under my roof...

    Maybe when my friends stop having babies the feeling will pass...
    This is probably a good thing to do no matter what, but if you're a guest blogger here, please change your email password. Someone has been autospamming the blog with drugstore posts; I'm removing them as I see them but it is a bit annoying.

    I don't think there is any other way to deal with the problem except by shutting off the post-by-email feature, which is really the entire point of the blog. :)
    I've started planning my funeral. Hopefully it is not for a LONG time. I've had my wedding, I've had my baby, I'm content with my home - what is left? For me, my funeral.
    My father died of cancer, this week I have a test scheduled for the very same cancer. The test could also find a couple of other things but my fear is that they will find cancer and I will go through awful treatments and still die in a couple short years. What will my kids do without me? Loved ones? Everyone I know? My work that is finally going in a good direction? My pets? Eight days between when the test was scheduled and the test itself - fast by any standard for a "non-urgent" test. I'm up to day 4 and it is already getting hard to keep myself together. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Instead I keep myself very busy and distracted, my house will be clean by the time the test happens. In a weird way, cancer is familiar and them finding something else is foreign and scary too. More scary still is that they find nothing and I go on feeling rotten as I have the past 6 months - wow, it's getting to be a LONG time... it is likely that whatever the result I still need a more invasive test soon too, more waiting, more fear.
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