Have you heard of Brené Brown? She has two TED Talks, one on vulnerability and one on shame. She also has two books, "I Thought it was Just Me" and "Daring Greatly."
These talks and books have helped me change my life. I have more confidence in myself, I am a much better parent and I hope I am a better friend.
In addition to growing emotionally, my health has dramatically improved, what drew me to Brené's work also drew me to make other changes in my life. Recently I decided to try a couple of sports in addition to my independent walking, running & hiking.
I never understood how an athlete could lose so often and keep trying. I've realized that athletes lose so often and don't let it get them down and keep optimistic, to be able to try again. I realized that in the past when I played sports I could never stop from getting down, from feeling that sense of doom, from feeling like I let my team down.
I had someone score against me. My initial thoughts were:
I suck
I let my team down
I should stop playing
I'm never going to be any good
For the first time ever I've been able to change my thoughts and accept support from my teammates:
The score is X:Y, I might have allowed one goal but my teammates let in X-1 and they keep trying. I made a good pass there. I made a good block there. My teammates said, "Good job!" "Good play!" - and I believe they are being sincere. And though I'm still a little overwhelmed by the high speed and close contact, it feels amazing that I'm keeping up! I know I'll get better so long as I keep trying and stay optimistic the same way everyone on my team is - playing sports as an adult is a choice, no one has to play as part of gym class or give into peer pressure - everyone is coming out cause it feels good to be a part of it!
Playing sports and not being the star player, making mistakes and not being perfect is the most liberating feeling I've ever had! It's like I've unlocked the door to a jail I had put myself in!
