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I am sick of favours not going both ways. I don't mind helping others, but I am getting increasingly frustrated because this always seems to be a one way street. Yet, I never say no because I am afraid of upsetting anyone.
Ever go to the doctor cause you have a cough or a rash and you have to wait a few days for your appointment and you don't even realize it's cleared up till you go to show the doctor, or even worse, it returns the next day?
This happens to me often, with tech support, the mechanic, my doctor - you name it, I've felt like the boy who cried wolf under MANY circumstances!
Well lately, everything I've needed to demonstrate as being "wrong", I've been able to demonstrate at the right time, to the right person. The outcome has not always been easy to deal with but at least I'm able to ask for the right help and get it.
It's me again, the middle-aged chick with the libido of a teenaged boy...
I was reading about herbal remedies today, in the section for sexual aids it described cloves and ginger as sexual stimulants...
Should I stop drinking Chai tea, stop eating ginger beef and sushi with pickled ginger?
- OR -
Should I find myself a man and feed him copious quantities of all three?
Option two is far more tempting!
...about making more money than I ever thought I would? The opportunity to indulge in "just because" gifts for people I care for. For me, there's no better feeling than showing my regard for people in a tangible way, for no other reason than I want to. Perhaps because I had my share of years when simply buying a birthday gift for someone required a major budgetary shift.
I'm profoundly grateful for my financial security for all the usual reasons, but this? This gives me JOY.
This week at work, I found myself in a difficult situation. I witnessed something that was very wrong and very upsetting. As it was a police matter, I contacted the police, however thankfully (?) the situation did not escalate to the point where their presence was required.
I consulted with two different officers... what can I do the next time, if this were to happen again.
I have a plan in place and hopefully, it's the correct plan. Hopefully, it's what I should do.
But I can't help but feeling I SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE. Doing more could have put me in direct harm, but it would have helped others, had the situation escalated.
I have thought about it so much... what happened, what should I have done.
After much thought and consultation with friends, colleagues, police, I realized who would know EXACTLY what to do. The shitty part is that person is gone. After two years, he is no longer the first person I think of when I need help. For weeks, months after he died, I came to realize how very much I relied on him. Questions, thoughts, comments, opinions could always be gained. And they were amazing opinions/suggestions. He had such a vast supply of life experiences to draw from and helped so, so, so, so many people. He was sooo good.
Give the people you care about and love an extra hug today. People always say it, but it's true - when they're gone, it will be too late.
I didn't get the interview. It was a job I thought I was totally, perfectly qualified for. It was a ray of hope in an otherwise very uncertain time. I wanted it. A lot. And it hadn't occurred to me I wouldn't even get interviewed. Now I'm wondering why. Slightly paranoid: does someone there not want me there? More realistic: As requested, I'd stated my salary expectations. Were they too high? Also more realistic: I'd sent off my cover letter and resume when I was extremely fatigued and didn't explicitly (but I did implicitly!) spell out how I met their requirements. In any case, it's thrown me. I have about 6 months to find work before things start to become quite concerning. That's a long time, I know, but still...
I didn't get the job I wanted.
I'm disappointed.
But I'm not disappointed about the job but rather what it now means. What it means is that I will begin to look for employment outside of the organization I currently work for. My plan was to do a lateral move within the organization. It did not happen. Time to move on. So for now, I'm keeping my eyes and ears open for new opportunities. But there's more...
I also feel betrayed. This is because one of my references was not only part of the interviewing panel, but was also part of today's meeting telling me I did not get the job. WTF?!
Why would someone accept to be my reference when they have no intention of advocating in my favour?
What a fucking bitch thing to do, eh?
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