I have officially, as of this evening when I stood stark nekkid on the scale, lost 20 pounds.
It only took me all bloody winter (the first 15 were easy and seemed to melt off... the rest I'm going to have to work for, I think).
It's awesome, I'm happy with myself, but at the same time, I'm feeling secretive about the accomplishment.
Probably because saying anything:
A.) acknowledges I needed to lose weight
B.) points out I still have a way to go
C.) could 'jinx' the progress.
But you know what, I tried on a button up shirt in a clothing store two weeks ago, and it didn't fit. I went back to that store today to return something, gave the same shirt the old college try...
And it fit.
I've not worn a button-up shirt (that wasn't several sizes too big) in ...
Over a decade?
Ever?
It's like I've reached this weird crossroads though. I'm happy, I have 5 pounds to go before I leave the 200s behind...
And I've wanted that more than anything... but now I'm kind of dissatisfied with it all.
Men still look past me, and only see a chubby girl (I'm not completely thick, I know I'm pretty, but the pounds hide things).
So now it's become, what do I want?
What's a new goal?
Should I be realistic and hope for 175 in the next year and stick there at what is basically the lightest I've been as an adult (and is totally reasonable and a 'comfy' weight for me)?
Or should I actually try to be a fit healthy athletic person?
I've always dreamed that I would be ... well... thin, I guess. I remember in high school wishing I could just get "back" to 140 -- and even then, that was the most active I'd ever been.
And in this town, where image is supreme, it seems like that's what I should be going for.
But it looks just so unobtainable.
It's like rounding this this one little landmark just reveals a whole lotta road in front of me.
And instead of being inspired, and invigorated...
I feel overwhelmed and disappointed.
It only took me all bloody winter (the first 15 were easy and seemed to melt off... the rest I'm going to have to work for, I think).
It's awesome, I'm happy with myself, but at the same time, I'm feeling secretive about the accomplishment.
Probably because saying anything:
A.) acknowledges I needed to lose weight
B.) points out I still have a way to go
C.) could 'jinx' the progress.
But you know what, I tried on a button up shirt in a clothing store two weeks ago, and it didn't fit. I went back to that store today to return something, gave the same shirt the old college try...
And it fit.
I've not worn a button-up shirt (that wasn't several sizes too big) in ...
Over a decade?
Ever?
It's like I've reached this weird crossroads though. I'm happy, I have 5 pounds to go before I leave the 200s behind...
And I've wanted that more than anything... but now I'm kind of dissatisfied with it all.
Men still look past me, and only see a chubby girl (I'm not completely thick, I know I'm pretty, but the pounds hide things).
So now it's become, what do I want?
What's a new goal?
Should I be realistic and hope for 175 in the next year and stick there at what is basically the lightest I've been as an adult (and is totally reasonable and a 'comfy' weight for me)?
Or should I actually try to be a fit healthy athletic person?
I've always dreamed that I would be ... well... thin, I guess. I remember in high school wishing I could just get "back" to 140 -- and even then, that was the most active I'd ever been.
And in this town, where image is supreme, it seems like that's what I should be going for.
But it looks just so unobtainable.
It's like rounding this this one little landmark just reveals a whole lotta road in front of me.
And instead of being inspired, and invigorated...
I feel overwhelmed and disappointed.
5 comments:
What you have done is AMAZING. It took a lot of work, and you should be proud of yourself.
Small, attainable goals are best. If you think 175 is reachable, set it as your goal. When you get there, take a breath, look around, and decide then whether you should have a third goal.
And come back to let us know about it, of course. :)
I agree with Megan, small goals are generally better. It would probably work out better for you to, say, set your goal to 190, then reach it, then go down to 180, then to 170, etc, than for you to set it immediately to 175 and feel disheartened if you aren't meeting it to your standards. Then again, I don't know you. If you think 175 is totally reachable with no problem, go right there! If you have doubts, though, take smaller steps - it's a huge confidence boost.
That is amazing! It truly is the hardest thing to loose weight...I haven't ever been able to do it. I'm trying right now to loose and my strategy so far has been to not look. I taking even smaller goals, one piece of cake at a time.
I agree with the consensus, but want to add - concentrate on health and fitness. You can be healthy and fit and still be overweight. And when someone's fit, it shows.
Fantastic work! I have been working to get back to the 'ones' for a while - and it's great to help to see/hear of others having success with it... keeps me movitated - so thank you! :)
And honestly (and I'm sure you've heard this before) - the pounds do hide things, and I had plenty of men look past me, but I also had a fair few look right at me though.
I kissed a lot of frogs, but then the right one looked at me, and he didn't see what was hidden by the pounds, the baggy sweats or the 'flowy' tops. He just saw my awesome-ness. (He wouldn't word it quite that way, but I know that's what he thinks.) :)
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