The Web That Is My Own

NOT THAT THE PIXIES ARE BAD. 

It's just a bit cliched, no? 

I guess I'd better delete this from the drafts folder of my regular blog and put it on the other blog. 

An update!

I tell you, I can't stop smiling. I've been grinning ear-to-ear all night. I spent most of the day in varying degrees of contact with my new love interest (see post below). A bunch of us all went to lunch together, and then parted ways. Then went to a show -- and finally drinks with just my friend, her actual husband and the fella.

It was so nice, and I just ... I really just think he's an amazing person.

I also, against all my natural hesitations, told my friend that I thought her cousin (the fella) was pretty cute too. I'm not good at putting myself out on a limb like that. But I have a lot of people rooting for me on this one, and that makes it easier, maybe.

I don't really know how to write how fun these past couple of days have been for me. I've really not been interested in anyone in almost a year now. I had one fleeting flirtation with a guy in a park about six months ago, but never saw him again. My problem is I tend to try to leave on a high note. I get in great conversations with people and find them really engaging but then... get intimidated and worried that they are getting bored and suddenly find a reason to dash off, and miss out on what could be something really neat.

But here I have someone who I believe at the very least finds me interesting -- we have a LOT in common (he ordered my current favourite wine when we went out for drinks -- that's got to be a good sign, right?), and I really want to get to know him better.

I'm just not sure where it goes from here. I will see my friend/his cousin regularly for the next two weeks, but not necessarily him. We definitely kind of went out on a date tonight, and he makes me all squeal-y but he didn't ask me out. That's okay, I'm not expecting the moon or anything, and to be fair I don't think word has gotten back that I'm interested.

But it leaves me with a bit of a question mark looming above my head.
I had a great night, a great day, and I want more...

But I don't want to go the Facebook route.
And I'm not sure where to go from here.

Dear internetz: what do you think?

So I met this guy the other night.

Some of us were having drinks and this girl I know told her cousin to come along after his salsa class. When they came through the door, I was shocked. I thought he was her husband and I swelled up with pride for her and thought "wow, she's amazing -- she's built a happy family with this man in a wheelchair"

I'm not really proud that's what I thought when I first saw him, but it's the truth. On one hand, it really would have been an amazing, incredible feat. She's got 4 little kids and fosters other ones every now and then, and that would be a lot to juggle, even if neither parents were in a wheelchair. But on the other hand, how absolutely rude is it for me to think it would be a compromise on her part? How short-sighted to think "wow, he must really be a great guy to make their relationship worth that obstacle!"

Of course, it turns out, the guy wasn't her husband. He was her cousin.
And of course, it turns out, he's super nice, and smart.
Not to mention good looking (dare I say it?) in spite of the wheelchair.

It also turns out I actually knew who the guy was. He's well-known where I live, he's been raising money for Muscular Dystrophy. He has a catchy name for his cause, and eventually I put the two together.

So he's driven too.
And finds a way to go to a salsa class even though he's in a wheelchair (he can walk with a cane -- I later found this out).

All of those things are very very very attractive to me.

Tonight, his cousin comes up to me and tells me as soon as the left the day before, he told her he thought I was cute and such. He of course asked her not to tell -- but she couldn't resist.

When she told me, I just blushed many shades of scarlet and I couldn't stop grinning. I had a feeling he was interested, but it's always hard for me to read that line between guys who find me amusing, and those who are actually interested.

We happen to be going to be at the same place again tomorrow night. I'll see him again for sure. It feels like it's been so long since I've done this, I'm not even sure how to deal with it. I'm so used to being around married people that I've stopped trying to figure out how this dating thing is supposed to work.

And while I'm hardly a traditionalist, I really do hope he asks me out.

I am planning to break up with a friend. She doesn't know, or maybe she's planning to do the same to me.

I really like her. At least I like the idea of her. The reality just isn't working. I've been thinking for at least a year that it was time to pull the plug, but I didn't want to do it. Like I said, I really like the idea of being friends with her. But I think it's time. I'm sick of arguing and waiting for the next argument and watching her argue with others.

I imagine that she is thinking the same about me.

I'm going to start slowly, by not initiating e-mails or responding to her Facebook posts. I'm far too timid to really pull the plug all at once. I'll know she has the same plan if this really is the end.

And then it won't have to be weird. I really don't want it to be weird. I don't want to be enemies. I just don't want to be friends.

I accepted a new job today.

I am very excited. Apprehensive about telling people, but still excited.