• Welcome

    This is our corner of the Internet. We're happy here. We're definitely "we" -- this blog is a group project. We all post as "My Own". This is where we write the things we can't say on our own blogs for one reason or another. We hope you like it here as much as we do. We hope you'll stick around.

    Buton

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    On Bigotry
    I know someone who's a bigot. His bigotry is limited to the LGBT community, and because of it, I don't like him much. He's not a friend - I have a strict policy about being friends with people who engage in bigotry, but he is a member of a larger circle of people with whom I spend time. I avoid him as much as I can, and I tolerate him on the periphery of my life in order to maintain the cohesion of the group.
     
    He's also a vociferous conservative who despises the current President of the United States. And here's my conundrum: Does he despise the President because Barack Obama is a conservative Democrat, or does he despise the President because Barack Obama is black? I don't automatically assume that white, male conservatives who oppose the President are racist, but in this case I wonder. If someone indulges in the kind of sloppy thinking and knee-jerk emotionalism that leads to bigotry against one group, it's not a very hard stretch for me to see them doing so against another.
     
    I guess it doesn't really matter. If someone is a bigot, it doesn't make it better or any more acceptable if their prejudice is limited to one group as opposed to spreading their hate out like a shotgun blast. They're still a bigot, and I still don't want them in my life.
    1
    This is the new world order
    Hello secret blog, this is the online dating girl with the yummie love
    interest.
    The steamy man and I have agreed that we will "hide" our profiles from
    the rest of the wide world, and "focus on each other" (his words, not
    mine).
    I think this is the online dating equivalent of being "pinned" or
    "going steady" in middle school.

    And since this is the confessional...

    A few months ago, before I swore off online dating the last time, I
    remember seeing this guy's profile. I even think I might have sent him
    a message. And then maybe the next day or the day after, I deleted my
    account because yet again the only people contacting me were 20+ years
    older and married.

    I wonder if he recognized me, because this time around, he contacted
    me. He's the one that's been going out on all the limbs here. It's
    never this way.

    Which leaves me fearing the following:
    - he is clearly way too attractive for me
    - I'm better in 2D than 3D
    - My photos make me look thinner than I really am

    2
    Holy crap

    Okay well since I hear you people like these diary of a single gal posts.
    I just joined a (stupid) dating site (again) tonite, and the most gorgeous guy in the world seems to be interested.
    Look at this guy! Holy crap!
    3
    Giddy up
    I've been single for awhile. Having the occasional fling here be there. Nothing serious but fun when need it.
    One of the flings continues though. We met in the strangest of places, at this cheesy tourist venue. I was instantly attracted to him, though it was 90% physical. He doesn't fit any of my criteria for a relationship. We don't really have much in common. He's a country boy. Works on cars, works in the oil rigs. I'm a professional university educated career woman.
    The one time we got together I worried about us having nothing in common. Nothing to talk about. We would just sit in painful silence. I was wrong. We still didn't have anything in common but got to know each other. Had some good sex. He surprised me in some ways. He was courteous, thoughtful, kind. Rinsed the dishes after supper. Pulled me close to him on the couch. For a first/second date it was very relationship like.
    Because life happens fast he left the next month for work and has been away since. I only saw him the one time.
    But be sends me a text most mornings. Says goodnight most evenings. We don't talk on the phone really. Mostly by text but we're in touch most days. It's not profound philosophical discussion. But it is the closest I've come to a relationships in years.
    We're not exclusive. I'm not dating anyone right now but I'm not NOT accepting offers.
    I wish he didn't live an 11 hr drive away. I didn't know if or when I'll see him again. Maybe December.
    He keeps in touch with me more than I do with him. And he said to me once that he's sorry we didn't have more time before he left, but we have a whole lifetime to get to know one another and that he hopes I want that too.
    But he's not the kind of guy I ever saw myself with. I don't know how much we really have in common besides one another. I'm book smart. He rides a horse and his cars are his babies. But I can't lie... When we were together it was comfortable.
    he's the most gorgeous man I have ever dated/been with. And he's equally hot for me. Which is incredibly flattering since I have terrible self esteem.
    But am I settling?
    0
    pay check envy
    I changed jobs last year, one of the best choices I ever made. My old job was poorly managed and overwhelming. I feel valued at my new job, I enjoy going to work again.

    Two of the guys I trained at my old job are still there. They now have new management and are no longer overwhelmed. I also see their clients occassionally, they miss me and find the guys I trained are not truly engaged in helping them. They both got raises.

    In my new job I have one project, it is HUGE. In my first few months I made a 2-year work plan, over the year I've realized many obstacles and new elements have been uncovered - I think I'll need to revise my workplan to be 4-5 years. I've accomplished more in my one year then my predeccessor did in their entire history with the company.

    I work mostly with two people who support my work in an arms length kind of way - they both make more than I do, in fact one of them was recently promoted so I recieve less support now as their responsibilities grow and they make even more.

    What am I doing wrong that my work grows but not my pay check?

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