If you hurt my feelings, and I tell you that you've hurt my feelings, the correct response is not to tell me how misinformed I am or tell me that you're sorry you didn't explain your position better. The implication of such a decision is that it's my fault I feel hurt and devalued, and that you couldn't possibly have made better choices to avoid this outcome. This makes me feel worse, not better.
Of course, if your intention is to make me feel worse rather than mend the rift in our relationship, then I guess you responded appropriately. But if you really are sorry I feel bad, then you might try, "I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings. I never meant to make you feel devalued, and I hope you'll accept my apology."
1 comments:
Uh huh.
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