So my parents are visiting me in my tiny little 800-square foot apartment for the next two weeks. Well, my mother, technically, is here for three weeks, but is spending one traveling the countryside.
I was really really looking forward to them visiting, even though I don't have a lot of space for everyone.
But I had forgotten how toxic they can be towards one another.
My sister and I have never understood why they don't just get divorced. They don't even seem to like one another, let alone love each other.
And I hate conflict. It makes me so uneasy, I get nauseous ...
And when it's family conflict, all I want to do is bawl.
Right now, my father is in some kind of snit and won't even talk to my mom. It was over -- get this -- him being hungry and wanting to eat. But in the process of not talking to my mom, he's not really talking to me either. And I have to try so hard not to take sides, be just as friendly to him as I am to her (even though he just grunts or gives me one-word answers back to my non-stop, let's not sit in silence questions).
They may be used to hating each other, but I'm not used to being a referee.
I'm so sick of the two of them acting like teenagers.
I was really really looking forward to them visiting, even though I don't have a lot of space for everyone.
But I had forgotten how toxic they can be towards one another.
My sister and I have never understood why they don't just get divorced. They don't even seem to like one another, let alone love each other.
And I hate conflict. It makes me so uneasy, I get nauseous ...
And when it's family conflict, all I want to do is bawl.
Right now, my father is in some kind of snit and won't even talk to my mom. It was over -- get this -- him being hungry and wanting to eat. But in the process of not talking to my mom, he's not really talking to me either. And I have to try so hard not to take sides, be just as friendly to him as I am to her (even though he just grunts or gives me one-word answers back to my non-stop, let's not sit in silence questions).
They may be used to hating each other, but I'm not used to being a referee.
I'm so sick of the two of them acting like teenagers.
3 comments:
If it were me, I'd sit my parents down, tell them I love them both, but their behavior is atrocious and that I'm not going to deal with it anymore.
Obviously, you have to do what's best for you. Sorry you have to deal with the bad behavior.
My parents were very much like that and my brother and I also often wondered why they didn't leave each other... then Dad passed away a few months ago and now, Mum's lost without him. It's a peculiar brand of a relationship, but it seemed to work (in some twisted way) for my parents.
They won't change if you sit them down and have a firm word - they're older and set in their ways. True, you're not their marriage counselor (what I used to tell my parents) and I used to sit and bawl, myself. Eventually, I just had to accept it and (as much as I hate to say it) - ignore them. They tend to sort themselves out in the end (but it won't be entirely painless for you.) It does suck - I'm sorry that you have to deal with it.
I would tell them to get their own place while they are visiting!! You don't need to deal with that.
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