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    Buton

  • I take responsibility for the majority of house-related tasks in my household. Errands, vet visits, service people - I take care of 95% of these tasks. If there's an emergency, I'm the one who rearranges my schedule or takes time off to manage it. The reasons for this have everything to do with the circumstances of my employment - I work from home full-time, and my husband works in an office full-time. Because I don't have a commute and do self-directed work, I have the flexibility to be able to manage these tasks effectively, and I do.
     
    I don't mind handling these tasks. It just makes sense for me to do so, and in a partnership, there are going to be certain aspects of household management that fall more heavily on one person than the other.
     
    But sometimes, just sometimes, I would like my husband to acknowledge the fact that it is always me who takes responsibility for these tasks. It's stressful for me to take care these things while still performing the work for which I'm paid, and I would occasionally like him to acknowledge that my work on our behalf is not some kind of entitlement he enjoys as a result of my profession, but is in fact something I do because I choose to. It wouldn't kill him to periodically say THANK YOU. Because nobody enjoys feeling like they're being taken for granted.

    2 comments:

    Demosthenes said...

    I fully understand what you mean. I am the person in my household that does most of the household labor - most of the cleaning, most of the cooking, most of the pet stuff, most of the bill paying/service calls/noticing when things need attention, etc. I'm lucky; my boyfriend shows his appreciation at least once in a while for it, but I totally get what you're saying.

    Sometimes I'm tempted to just stop everything I do for a week or two and see what happens. I wonder how it feels to be the one experiencing the seamless organization going on around me, instead of orchestrating it for someone else...

    Anonymous said...

    I am a stay at home mom, so I do feel like the household chores are completely my responsibility because my husband is the one who supports us, but I agree...a little recognition every once and awhile goes a long way.

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