I'm terrified of my job. For a few reasons.
I'm mostly terrified because I don't feel like I'm good enough at it. I feel like I'm in over my head and that I won't be able to meet the expectations of my company. I can't tell if this is just my self-consciousness talking, or if it's actually true.
I'm also terrified because I always strive to love my job. To wake up every morning and want to go to work. Sometimes, I don't feel like that here. Probably partially due to reason one. I worry that I picked the wrong field. Not always, but sometimes.
I'm also terrified that I don't look the part for the job I have. I'm terrified I dress wrong, or act wrong, or will say something irreparable. I'm terrified that people won't take me seriously.
Now, I know someone will comment on this post, so I want to end by saying that I'm not depressed or unhappy or aching to quit my job. I didn't write this for those reasons. I just wanted to get those fears out. I'm sure they are normal fears that everyone has, I just don't normally talk about them.
I'm mostly terrified because I don't feel like I'm good enough at it. I feel like I'm in over my head and that I won't be able to meet the expectations of my company. I can't tell if this is just my self-consciousness talking, or if it's actually true.
I'm also terrified because I always strive to love my job. To wake up every morning and want to go to work. Sometimes, I don't feel like that here. Probably partially due to reason one. I worry that I picked the wrong field. Not always, but sometimes.
I'm also terrified that I don't look the part for the job I have. I'm terrified I dress wrong, or act wrong, or will say something irreparable. I'm terrified that people won't take me seriously.
Now, I know someone will comment on this post, so I want to end by saying that I'm not depressed or unhappy or aching to quit my job. I didn't write this for those reasons. I just wanted to get those fears out. I'm sure they are normal fears that everyone has, I just don't normally talk about them.
2 comments:
Totally normal. I hope.
I feel this way too most days at my job.
I want to love it, but it intimidates me. I want to bounce into work bubbling with energy every day. But that's not the case.
Instead most days of the week I have to give myself a pep talk just to walk out my front door.
It's terrifying.
But like Megan says, maybe it's normal? I hope not. I hope I get over it (or a new job).
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